the devious journal

* When the night fall..

- I’m so tired but cannot sleep, stuck in reverse.

# Only a demand in my mind..

* I felt an emptiness without you here, in my side..

- The night seems so silent. No dog’s bark, no cars noises..

# An integrity flows from my deepest heart.

- I felt lost, the tears come stream down my face.

# And my entire life revolve around you, beib.. These words are my own, from my heart flow,, I Love You..

* My heart stuck deeply in yours, and it would be always like this till the very end of time..

- But I can’t stand in this kind of shit condition, it won’t be any longer, I swear to God!

* these godamn condition drive me crazy, feel like an insane..

# Well, however, life must go on. Even without you in my life, but always you in my mind.

* I have to keep standing still here, face the truth with a high-chin-up..

# Try to be nose up.. Don’t even care with what’s happening with you.. But I won’t be able to force what my heart has been screaming..

- I must be strong, no more tears, grumblings, an regrets. Just be the best I am. I wonder why does morning won’t come soon? The clock keep thicking.

* The cricket is creacking louder, and louder, sing their own song happily.

* It seems they don’t know that my heart is as dark as the sky tonite.

# Even you are the one who has ruined my life successfully. My heart also can easily and successfully accept you as the special no. 1, one more time. How come..?

* Well, I’ve told you before. Cuz my heart is stuck deeply in yours. You’ve made me fall, totally fall.

- and it’s funny. I’m thinking about you and it makes me smile even when I’m crying.

# well.. Crying like dying to understand what kind of crazy feeling that I’m feeling..

* would somebody help me to replenish this emptiness..?

# and let me be my self to live my own world by my own way. Love my world, love my life, love you..

- yes I know there will be somebody that only for me. Cuz people made in pair. it all just about the time. There will be someone for me, some one much more better.

* and I know, those one is not here, not now, and not him. I need some times to calm my self down, to collect the pieces of my heart.

# truly, it’s a hard long process to be fixed.. I knew the love you keep inside, the love you n keep for me.. But it’s mot me that reject you but our destiny make it impossible..

# yepp, it’s absolutely true.. The one must be somewhere only God knows.. How far he is, I probably can feel this great heart beating.

- and now, I’ll try to pick all my heart pieces and keep it until someone come and fix it. Yes, life just like a rolling wheel. Sometimes in the above, but somehow it reach its lowest point.

# but however the conditions are. I’m sure you’ll be mine.. We’ll be together.. Someday..

* I just can pray for your happiness from here. It would be so nice for me if you can live your live happily over there.. Take care.. 

Note:

* : gue

# : Nore

- : mo0t

[three little silly girls that have so much hard time to makes this awful hand writing]

This entry was posted on Sunday, November 23rd, 2008 at 6:00 am Filed under greatest memory and. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.